Tired, but with lots of good times

  I have continued to feel better. My struggle now is total exhaustion. Throughout every day I experience tiredness at all levels from mildly fatigued to not being able to keep my eyes open. It sure beats what I was dealing with! My regret about being so tired is that I have very little patience with my family. My toddlers are such sweet and helpful girls. They full on clean the apartment almost every day and do almost everything I ask without much resistance, perhaps because I have been so short tempered and quick to yell. Yelling is the one thing that I really want to stop doing. I do not even mind if I still use the same words because often they are necessary, but I would really like to not yell them. I am frustrated when I loose my patience and hate hearing myself raise my voice. I have not always raised my voice with my kids. I know it is because I am just so tired most of the time. I am considering trying something like the new rave called "Thrive" since it has been approved for pregnant women. I think it's main purpose is weight lose, but it also focuses on overall health and well being as well as energy. I want to see if it will give me an energy boost so I can get back to being a more positive and loving parent. Sometimes I feel too tired to use parenting skills when my 2 year old throws a stubborn at me. I know that bullying her at this age, while affective, will not yield the results I want long term.
  So, that is where I am at the moment, seven months pregnant and ready to have my body back, but not ready to have my hands even more full.    

Light at the end of the tunnel!

It is a new year (2015) and a couple of weeks ago I seemed to have gotten over the pregnancy sickness hump!  Wahoo!!!  I'm hesitant to write it down fearful that I'll jinx this wonderful blessing and it will all come back.  I've been feeling good enough to get back into the kitchen and start eating healthy again.  I eat and juice fruits and vegetables, make my own kefir and enjoy a good raw cheese.  I have had so many side effects of eating horrible for so long finally go away and I am operating on a somewhat normal level.  I just had to make my own report of the break in horrible sickness and express the light I am now seeing at the end of the tunnel of pregnancy. 

A tired day.

Last night my church youth group had their Christmas activity and I went to be helpful.  I don't really know what's going on in my body with this particular pregnancy, but I know that quite often I get really light headed and things start to blur in my vision.  If I'm not careful I will faint.  At the same time it is difficult for me to catch my breath and when I talk through it I end up sounding really melodramatic.  It's actually kind of amusing to others.  So, last night I started to get dizzy and light headed and instead of taking it serious, or sitting down I just kept on helping stir hot chocolates, filling cups, etc. for the youth group to enjoy after the activity.  Now several of the adults I work with think I'm a bit interesting to say the least.  I have a certain idea in my head of how I want to come across and it eats at me when things like this happen and first impressions are had. 

Dark, rainy day and 4 months pregnant with two totts.

Being 4 months pregnant, sometimes I feel like I'll never feel better.  I'm having a taste of what it's like to have a chronic condition.  People ask me all the time if I'm feeling better yet, sometimes I even look better and sound better, but it doesn't mean that I feel better.  It's frustrating when I feel like I'm expected to get better and if I don't then I'm just a weak or wimpy person.  For four months I wake up and want to throw up, sometimes actually throwing up and struggle all day to get over the feeling.  In the meantime, my two toddlers 2 and 3 still need me.  There's still laundry to do, dishes to clean and put away, little teeth to brush, hair to wash, clothes to put away and sort, toys to put away, fix, etc. 
  Even though I have still been sick I have just decided that I want to pick up pre-school with my kiddos again so today we had our debut and they loved it.  Several times I dry heaved during the abc's and needed to take a nap when we were all done.  I am like a new born!  Eat, sleep, drink a little, sleep some more.  You want to know why I'm cranky sometimes?  Wake a sleeping baby and ask them.  ;)  Anyway, I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother several times over.  It is just tough right now while I'm so sick and for such a long time. 


Here's a SUPER fun little girl website I found one day when I just really needed an hour to sleep but didn't want to leave my toddlers to themselves.  It has the cutest printout pictures, games and more:  http://www.disney.co.uk/princess/print-and-colour/?princess=rapunzel